DieHard TryHards Make Scented Candles

Going into this, I’m feeling not-so-confident, to say the least. Being quite artistically challenged and possessing the sense of smell of a noseless donkey, the odds are stacked against me for this candle-making confrontation. My strategy going into this is to copy Priyanka’s every move. Why would I do this, you may ask? Because unlike me, Priyanka isn’t empty-headed and also has a whopping one hour of extra candle-making experience compared to us amateur chandlers. With that being said, I hope my strategy works and wish me luck for this challenge because, boy, am I gonna need it.

My growing collection of dusty, unburned candles, talented olfactory system, and exceptional eye for aesthetics are guaranteed to give me a one hundred per-scent success rate in making the perfect candle. My expertise in chemistry and foolproof skill to pour liquid into containers (demonstrated best when I  accidentally poured a toxic substance in chemistry class with my bare hands and definitely did not spill any) ensure my proficiency in pouring hot wax into a mold. Oh! Do you smell that? I’m getting a whiff of the sweet scent of victory — unless that’s my hair getting caught in the flame…

Since my last DieHard TryHards, baking fall-themed bagels, I’ve learned that overconfidence is not the key. This time, I’d like to greet my win with a plea-scent surprise. Although, I would like to say I have the upper hand. Unlike my other competitors, I have experience in the candle-making realm as I have been to Glow Candle Lounge two times before. However, this time it’s going to be different. Glow Candle Lounge is going to have a VIP in town; one that they never saw coming. My tactic of choosing an array of colors and a concoction of exotic scents will create a competitive s-candle between us fellow Smokies.

While my competitors may be going all fancy-schmancy trying to make some overly fragrant candles, I will take a more sophisticated path and pursue a candle that espouses edibility. I mean, you can’t look at a brand new colorful candle and tell me it doesn’t look delicious. Why would candles even have food scents like vanilla if they’re not supposed to be eaten? I’ll make a candle so appetizing the judges will have to change the ranking system to be based on taste instead of aroma. On a completely unrelated note, the San Francisco Poison Control Center is only an hour away from Glow Candle Lounge.

What did I say? Call me Candle Jenner because my magnifi-scent first-place creation is totally runway-ready. Despite the difficulties I faced, including trying to pick up Sahas after he gave us the wrong address three times, my hours spent scouring for the perfect shape, combing through colors, digging out matching designs, sniffing scents, and adding a 15% tip paid off. After my disappointing fifth place in last year’s Christmas Cookie DHTH, I’d say my talents have truly outshined the rest. Catch my work of art on the next episode of Too Hot to Candle!

Well, I got second. Am I mad? Yes. Should I be? No. After the intense candle-making session filled with a roller coaster of emotions, from sadness to hints of happiness and then the inevitable sorrow, I felt defeated. Expecting last place after my shortcoming in chopping and cutting, taking the longest time while still producing the most mediocre candle out of all of the Smokies, I was depressed. However, after being absolutely hyped up by Sahas Goli himself, after he told me that I had crafted a candle of Picasso caliber, I was expecting an easy first place (he lied). In the end, the moral of the story is to never trust Sahas (or Priyanka).

Third place seems to have a very special place in my heart. However, this time, I’ll take it. Walking into Glow Candle Lounge, familiarity and victory flooded the air. The lady who worked there even called me a professional chandler (a term for candle-maker, if you weren’t aware). My plan of straying from the beaten path and choosing unique colors seemed flawless to begin with, but boy was I wrong. At least now I know that brown and green don’t make a very pretty combination. Although my candle’s visual appeal may not have been the best, I still think that my Christmas-themed scents should have won. Sigh. Maybe the third time’s the charm. 

Genius is never understood in its own time. Despite confirming that the candles were made of food-grade wax, my appeals for the candles to be judged by taste were completely ignored. What a shame. I had even chosen a candle shape that would make for easy snacking and a nice eucalyptus and Polynesian vanilla flavoring. This irrational decision by the judges has left me in fourth place. How could I have failed to convince the judges to switch to taste-based judging? This intolerable miscarriage of justice deeply reflects the prejudices in our society against eating candles. I am devastated.