Dear Diary: Easter Bunny

By Staff Writer Sabrina Cai

9:04 AM on Easter Sunday

What’s better than limited edition bunny marshmallow peeps, tie-dyed eggs, and discounted Betty Crocker frosting? I’ll give you a minute … That’s right, nothing. Therefore, Easter is nothing less than the most joyous, spectacular, and important day of the year. And as an Easter bunny, I decree that MSJ shall get its very own scavenger hunt this year. Unfortunately, corporate didn’t quite agree with this decree (something about there being more important hunts to plan) so I’m stuck setting this thing up on my own. No worries, Trixy Cottontail is on the job! Let’s go!

11:17 AM

Now that we’ve arrived at MSJ, here’s the clue for our first location:

The Easter Hunt has begun

We’re about to have lots of fun

Head to the place with all the slushies

It’s also where they manage the moneys

Hey, I never said I was good at coming up with rhymes. This is what you get for low-budget scavenger hunts. Instead of hiring professionals to formulate well-crafted, perfect clues, you get me, a pencil, and rhymezone.com. (or rhymer.com depending on my mood). Now, have you guessed where we’re going? That’s right, the Student Store! And for figuring out the first clue, you get either a pack of FUNYUNS or a 2018-2019 MSJ Planner. They’re out of stock of the current ones. Sorry ‘bout that. You want the planner?  Good choice. 

12:54 PM

Alright, our next clue is stepping it up a bit, so here you go!

During such an egg-citing afternoon,

I must take you somewhere you dread

You visit once in August, another in June 

Checking in and out with long lines ahead

While you think, let’s address the elephant in the room. Yes, there will be a grand prize for whoever figures out all the clues and collects all the eggs. And no, the prize is not a chocolate bunny. I promise it’s much cooler. Hm, what’s the prize? Now, I can’t spoil the ending this early. My lips are sealed until the hunt is finished. Have you figured out this clue yet? We’re headed to the E-7, the Book Room! I know, not everyone’s favorite place. Regardless, for your hard work, you get to select one of the textbooks from this recycling bin to take home. I recommend Big Ideas Math: Algebra 2. You want the AP Biology one instead? Your choice. Onwards we go!

1:33 PM

The last two clues have gone quite well if I do say so myself. Here’s the next one:

As your hunt nears its end,

I hope you’ve made a new best friend.

Now, go to the place that looks like a “U”

Watching performances, what a nice view

Now that I’m reading this, it seems much too easy to serve as our last clue. My original plan was to end the hunt with pastel-colored fireworks and mega-sized marshmallow peeps that we could feast on. Alas, corporate shut me down, once again. You know, maybe this is a sign that I should look into some jobs that actually appreciate my creative genius. Let me know if anyone needs a new leprechaun for St. Patrick’s Day next year. Okay, back to the topic at hand. Let’s head over to the horseshoe!

2:58 PM

Congratulations! I hope this little hunt made your Easter egg-stra special! I’m eggs-hausted from all the fun we had today. I have so many egg puns, it’s not even bunny. Okay, I’ll stop. What? Oh yes, the grand prize! Could I get a drumroll please? The grand prize is … Bragging Rights! Wooooooo! I’m sorry, not good enough for you? Fine, you’ll also get a lifetime supply of chocolate Easter eggs. Jeez, y’all are a tough crowd. I swear this is the last time I’m spreading holiday cheer without help from headquarters. Ugh, but I guess it’s worth it though if I made you smile! See you next year—Trixy Cottontail Out!

Cover graphic by Staff Writer Nishi Bhagat