by Staff Writer Tanisha Srivatsa
Greetings! It looks like I have arrived at my new home. I’ve got to tell you, we oatmeal cookies usually go straight from the oven to the mouths of hungry eaters, so I’m not exactly sure where we are now, but I’m sure I’ll figure it out soon. The trip here was quite the red-eye if I do say so myself — the annoying snickerdoodle kept, well, snickering all night, and I couldn’t get a wink of sleep! Hopefully, I’ll be able to catch some rest in my new home; after all, it looks pretty cool.
As it turns out, I’ve been shipped to the local grocery store for “repackaging and distribution,” whatever that means. All I know is, I’ve reconnected with a few old friends from my cookie dough days, and it’s honestly a blast here at the supermarket. I’m located between the health food aisle and the fresh fish, though, so I do have quite the incentive to leave. (Those gluten-free crackers are a tad bit haughty, after all.) I can’t wait to find the perfect customer and embark on an exciting journey to the stomach of a perfectly kind, deserving cookie-eater!
It’s day three here at the grocery store, and things have been pretty uneventful. The only people around are the employees, and they don’t look very happy to be here. Slowly but surely, my companions have started to leave me behind for the outside world: chocolate chip was first, followed by the sugar cookie and that pesky snickerdoodle. Boy, was I glad he left. I will admit it’s getting a bit lonely here, though. Today’s seafood batch isn’t quite as friendly as yesterday’s, and I’m starting to really long for a customer.
As I near my final days, I would like to share my life’s goal of enlightening the public on all the wonders of an oatmeal cookie; from our appealing low calorie count to the sheer deliciousness, we are an excellent snack, meal, and everything in between. Though we might be undervalued and overlooked, oatmeal cookies are truly the best combination of gooey goodness and flavorful, finger-licking fun of any cookie out there. Alas, while my “Best Before” date quickly approaches, I continue to languish on this desolate shelf. I wonder what it is about oatmeal cookies that everyone seems to hate — we are cookies, too! I just hope someone realizes this before it’s too late.
Success! Just when I thought I was done for, the customer of my dreams appeared, lifting me from my impending doom! As she picked me up from aisle seven, I could feel the tangible transformation of my being as I transcended the world of linoleum tiles and fluorescent lighting to the outside human realm. Not to exaggerate, but my patron is everything I could have wished for and more. She’s nice, generous, and most important of all? She’s got great taste.
Graphics by Staff Writers Mingxin Wang & Anya Agarwal
To the Editors: I think that the article “Educational Inequality in the Bay Area”…
To the Editors: In regards to the article “The Melania documentary and the disconnect…
By Staff Writers Leland Yu, Andy Zhang, & Aaqib Zishan Boys Basketball In the most…
By Staff Writers Jessica Cao and Erika Liu No one notices a restrictive eating disorder…
By Staff Writers Eleanor Chen, Kelly Shi, Fiona Yang, & Matthew Zhang Intro Imagine strolling…
By Staff Writers Luna Bichon, Alex Duan & Mansi Mundada In February, the Fremont city…